Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
