worst night to have a conscience
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
