Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
