We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize