So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
