i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
