I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
