Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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