Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME

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  (513): ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME http://tfl.nu/92a7
  Replies (43) Good night (762) Bad night (4301)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

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  (757): I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour. http://tfl.nu/8whx
  Replies (16) Good night (4490) Bad night (842)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up

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  (256): I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up http://tfl.nu/q8f6
  Replies (50) Good night (10501) Bad night (1742)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.

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  (517): found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping. http://tfl.nu/l6f0
  Replies (7) Good night (4620) Bad night (1570)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.

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  (662): He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv. http://tfl.nu/kqij
  Replies (7) Good night (2981) Bad night (1420)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I want a grilled cheese and an IV

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  (518): I want a grilled cheese and an IV http://tfl.nu/ksb1
  Replies (5) Good night (2356) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

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  (786): hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth! http://tfl.nu/9piv
  Replies (10) Good night (1142) Bad night (1988)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.

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  (518): I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face. http://tfl.nu/ha5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1011) Bad night (483)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls

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  (406): My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls http://tfl.nu/ydwq
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (827)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.

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  (912): If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight. http://tfl.nu/iyrl
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (415)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport

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  (515): So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport http://tfl.nu/uoc3
  Replies (9) Good night (652) Bad night (347)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.

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  (561): I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face. http://tfl.nu/v359
  Replies (6) Good night (377) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece

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  (907): That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece http://tfl.nu/9o1k
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (297)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is my gift to your gina

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  (214): This is my gift to your gina http://tfl.nu/cr2i
  Replies (8) Good night (466) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.

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  (707): I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible. http://tfl.nu/8qmq
  Replies (7) Good night (899) Bad night (279)

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