one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.