she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
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He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
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I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS