Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny