I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
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Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.