Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

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  (251): Call me "white mamba" (334): Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake (251): It is white. http://tfl.nu/1p0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1210) Bad night (1628)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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  (801): My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv http://tfl.nu/1bcq
  Replies (39) Good night (1526) Bad night (4537)
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  (607): View more from New York

  so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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  (607): so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class. http://tfl.nu/dhq5
  Replies (50) Good night (780) Bad night (4789)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.

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  (908): so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy. http://tfl.nu/ocps
  Replies (9) Good night (789) Bad night (2739)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?

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  (865): you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him? http://tfl.nu/jkhm
  Replies (5) Good night (940) Bad night (3623)
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  (518): View more from New York

  apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

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  (518): apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party http://tfl.nu/ab1k
  Replies (17) Good night (6163) Bad night (848)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.

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  (618): i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette. http://tfl.nu/cqrz
  Replies (38) Good night (1504) Bad night (7376)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."

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  (708): After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded." http://tfl.nu/j96i
  Replies (51) Good night (6961) Bad night (923)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.

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  (337): i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out. http://tfl.nu/6suh
  Replies (169) Good night (2015) Bad night (20766)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.

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  (780): I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815. http://tfl.nu/p37f
  Replies (3) Good night (3626) Bad night (1155)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.

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  (717): I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink. http://tfl.nu/gbhu
  Replies (3) Good night (1117) Bad night (680)
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  (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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  (544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1800) Bad night (871)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.

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  (775): She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time. http://tfl.nu/amjm
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Damnit.

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  (832): If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning (1-832): Damnit. http://tfl.nu/shac
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night

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  (614): You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night http://tfl.nu/2x2r
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (329)

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