I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
