I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
