The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
