Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My feet surprised me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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