you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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