shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
