Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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