What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
