at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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