dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
