You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize