you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
