Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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