We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
