I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
