It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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