I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
