# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
