yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
