i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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