i don't like sucking hair
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
