I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i think my cat just said my name.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
