Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
