sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
