He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
