Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Buhtt sex?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
