Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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