This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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