no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
