I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
