I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
