Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize