Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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