I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How external is "for external use only"?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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