yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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