I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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