you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
