I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
