you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
