How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize