At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize