I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
