How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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