just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize