I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
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Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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