Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
