The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
