It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
